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“I don’t love you anymore”

“The relationship is boring.”

“I don’t get butterflies when I see you.”

What if your significant other tells you these statements? What would you feel? Is this where it’ll all end? What if he/she told you these statements in the middle of. what you think as, a smooth and perfect relationship? The next five seconds after hearing these words will be so long and crucial for you. All you will be thinking is “What the hell did just happened?” This entry will discuss what’s the difference of falling out of love and the comfortable phase of an intimate relationship.

If you’re in a long committed relationship, maybe you have asked once if you’re falling out of love. When this question takes place, most probably you’re in the it-sounds-like-a-boring phase of the relationship. This is when everything seems like a routine. It’s boring and you don’t like it. Some people would eventually think this is when it all comes down to the breaking up state of love.

I have asked a few people who’s in relationship for more than a year, if they’ve ever felt that their love is fading or not there anymore. To my surprise, some of them answered that they actually felt the fading phase of love, but it’ll always be there. Their reasons are as follows:

“You just feel tired because of the changes your relationship has been through. But your love will always be there.”

“There are times I felt like I want to give up but when I  closed my eyes and imagine him with another woman, I felt like I’m going to die. So I knew, I still love him.”

“Love lessens when boredom increases.”

As you have read, they really don’t fall out of love. So if these kinds of feelings are not signs of falling out of love, what could it be? Married couples call this the Mature State of Love. Mature meaning with how you deal with it, not with regards to age or years in relationship, ok? You’re comfortable but not clingy anymore. You have finished the Honeymoon/ Liking state of relationship. The state when infatuation and having crush with your partner are still present.

The mature state of a relationship is when true love blooms. You don’t have to constantly remind each other 24/7 about your love. It is present and you know it. It’s when you feel comfortable with the relationship, but not too much ok? You still need to work out with some surprises to keep that fire burning. All relationship go through this kind of stage. Some people thought this is the falling out of love phase had suffered regrets, bad decision making and a broken heart.

So if you’re now in this kind of crisis. don’t be stress. Trust your partner. If it’s boring, then tell him/her. Work things out together. One day that spark will come back. Think of it as a trial phase. If you’re tempted to quit, try to imagine him/her kissing someone. If you feel the anger, jealousy or the, dear, you are still in love. If this person means a lot to you, you’ve made up you future with this guy/girl and you know that he really loves you then don’t quit. Fight and you shall claim victory with the wedding bells. By then, you will realize how good it is to earn such kind of love. This part of relationship is what truly matters. It is the journey, the road, the trials that will make your love stronger. Remember, just because you don’t feel any butterflies in your stomach anymore, that doesn’t mean that love fades away.

If you’re a guy and experiencing that you’re girlfriend feels like falling out of love, check this website for helpful tips and advice: http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_400/412_why-she-falls-out-of-love.html

For girls: http://www.girlsaskguys.com/Relationships-Questions/13472-why-do-some-people-mistake-getting-comfortable.html

 

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