Relationships are now merely a pinch on a smartphone screen, emojis animating your feelings and a touch on the keypad you can barely feel. I am one of those people grew up at the same time that love evolves to networking social sites. So, how does one define relationships in the 90’s? A friend of mine told me relationships during the 90’s are like vintage classic television shows. You may only see the same spectrum of colors again and again, but the flicker never fades. Then and there, I asked someone from today’s generation to define love. He said that love is like a search engine, you need to go through trial and error to find the one that’s going to stay with you through the test of distance and time.
In my everyday commute to the busy streets of the city, I have observed that more and more people walk on the streets alone. Not the sad facet of being alone. They walked with a smile while grabbing on to the mic of their earphones. They hold on to it from home to work, and vice versa after their duties. Just playing back this scenario gives me apprehensions of what is in store for our future human relationships.
I am part of this LDR population, and it’s nothing new to me. Five years of working an LDR is the most daring thing I made in my life. To keep it working smoothly every day is extremely challenging. Honestly, there are times when I feel that I can just be with myself and that I don’t need anyone who’s far from me to even worry about my life on the other side of the planet. I grew tired of pressing the keypads and I longed for the presence of my partner. There were weeknights when sleeping is a task, a struggle and a curse. I stayed awake during the wee hours and imagined how life would be if he’s by my side. There were times when I just want to argue with him so that he’ll get tired of living apart and would choose to stay with me literally. I continuously struggle in believing that God destined me with this person when all He did was to separate us in distance I can’t even comprehend. I hated the idea of my partner choosing his dreams over me, of choosing that country over me, and of staying in that country without me. There was heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak. This cycle was not fun at all. It broke me apart into pieces to the point that I felt like I killed myself for taking this risk. I killed myself of the opportunity to find someone who’ll choose and stay with me. I thought of killing myself literally so that my partner can realize what my worth is when I’m gone. I was desperate to see him.
However, as selfish as I can be, I would never know how hard it is on his part as a man. My male students told me it’s harder and frustrating. A man’s purpose is to protect his girlfriend whenever she feels scared, or to comfort her when she’s sad. He won’t be able to fulfill his duties as a man because he is too far. I may not be able to see how my partner would see, but this is just a proof how demanding a long distance relationship is.
So, if you are reading this and you have a partner in close proximity to where you live, be thankful. You are one of the luckiest people who can call your partner and see minutes later in front of your door with arms open wide and ready to hug you. You may think that he doesn’t have time with you, but you are lucky enough to even have the same time zone and the same day with the one you love. You won’t need to set two clock widgets on your phone to make sure you don’t miss a scheduled chat. If he’s late during dates, still be thankful he arrived. LDR couple can’t even have normal dinner dates or movie dates especially when internet connection is pretty slow. If it’s your monthsary, accept his gifts and efforts be it small or big. LDR couples depend on digital cards, simple facebook posts, and skype video calls, because shipping is pretty expensive dear, esp. if you’re oceans apart. If you’re on the verge now of breaking up because you got tired of seeing that same person every day, don’t. LDR couples would trade five seconds off their life if it means to see the one they love face to face. You won’t know what you have until it’s gone. You won’t realize how lucky you are until you become unlucky.
If you have any suggestions on how LDR couples could make their relationship better, please write a comment below.