I belong to the Millennial Generation. A generation which according to Wikipedia includes people who were born from early 1980s to early 2000s. Well, according to Strauss and Howe, the Millenial Generation are civic-minded people. A generation with a strong sense of community both local and global. So maybe this is the reason why LDR or the Long Distance Relationship emerged globally in this era.
Many of the couples around me or I’ve known are now into this LDR situation. When I was a child, I’ve always thought that you’re prince charming should be on the same continent like you do. Practically, near your range of existence. But eventually, those ideas will be all left behind, once you grow up. The more mature you are, the more you’re ready to conquer the risks of love. The Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is an intimate relationship that takes place when couples are separated by a considerable distance or when you lack that touch and face-to-face contact. If you can remember some of Nicholas Sparks novel like The Notebook or the famous Dear John, the setting of these novels were like in a LDR scenario. This entry will definitely answer some of your curious questions about LDR, plus will give you tips on how you can handle an LDR situation.
First off, let’s have a list of the questions most people asked to LDR couples.
1. Is it hard to be on a long distance relationship? Being on a relationship is hard, adding the distance is harder! But it really depends on your partner and how you work things out. If both of you are serious enough and determine to make it through all the odds and distance, then it will be really easy. I’m now in a long-distance relationship. More than 3 years now and still counting. It’s hard at first but both of you will learn how inspiring this kind of relationship is. Remember, not everyone can handle this kind of love.
2. How will you celebrate special events together when you’re apart? Well, with the world’s technology nowadays, LDR has become easier. There’s Skype, Facebook, Facetime, and a whole lot of apps to help you see each other as often as you can. Internet is the answer! Well, if you’re still in those old-school stuff of sending letters then why not! Me and my guy used these apps, mail anniversary gifts, do creative stuffs, celebrate birthdays on Skypes, watch movie and sometimes play together through an online game. We’re like taking romantic activities to a whole new level!
3. How can you trust your partner that he/she will be really honest to you, when you can’t see what’s really happening? Well, it really depends on you. Trust is the most important key for a successful LDR, and for all relationship right? So it’s really YOU who will decide the trust that you’re willing to give. In my situation, we really see to it to talk on a daily basis or when we we’re not busy. Why? Communication is important. Knowing what happened to your partner everyday is like being with them physically. In addition, it feels good to go home, lie on your bed and talk with someone. It’s comforting plus seeing your beau after a long day at work will make you feel relax and put that smile on your face.
4. What principles you should believe in while on a LDR? First, trust and love. Trust your partner. Let him feel loved as much as you can. You will know how hard is it to be alone in a place where you can see lovers everywhere so give the love you want your partner to give you, too. Second, screw the distance! I think this is one of my favorite line in a movie we watch together. It’s real once you ignore the distance, you’ll feel closer and more secure with what you have. Lastly, believe that this LDR would eventually end in a positive way. The end that you both want, to be in one place at the same time and spending every single day of your lives together. To make this short–that you will eventually get married with him after years of waiting. When I think of this principle, I forget how long we’ve been apart. Time disappear because all I think of is how great that day would be. As the Law of Attraction once stated, ask the universe for it and you shall receive it. I tell you one secret, I asked the universe to let me visit my bf country and after 3 years I’m now in Korea! Three months seem too short but it’s all worth it!
5. What should you do when you started having quarrel days? Quarrels or arguments are normal in any relationship. So the only cure for this is to COMPROMISE. One or both should do this. Put down your pride and say I’m sorry if it’s your fault. This is important. Remember, compromising can save your relationship and pride won’t. Talk it over. Agree on things. Avoid having heated discussions over text or phone calls. Use video calls instead. Seeing each other while having an argument is better than not. Plus, don’t let the day pass by without fixing it. It’s hard to cry yourself to sleep (all girls know this), thus it’s hard for your man to sleep over thinking about what can happen to both of you tomorrow. See, in this kind of relationship, I’ve learned that guys are more stress when their having an argument with their partners. With girls, they can cry it out but guys can’t do that…they will just lie on their bed and think think think. An argument can actually drive them insane. So if you’re having fights, talk about it, cool down, think about it and resolve it together. “I love you” always come handy! 😉
Now, let’s proceed to tips on how to survive a Long Distance Relationship.
1. Set your parameters beforehand (the basic rules you want together).
2. Do things together (even if you’re miles apart, use TECHNOLOGY!).
3. Communication! (in every possible way).
4. Control or avoid temptation! (be mature enough to stay committed, you don’t want your significant other do that to you right? Always remember the Golden Rule of Humankind)
5. Talk about your future together.
6. Visit if you can.
7. Read articles about LDR or poems like this:
Most relationships tend to fail
not because of the absence of love.
love is always present.
it’s just that one was being loved too much
and the other was being loved too little.
8. Be romantic, creative and spread love!
9. Trust and avoid jealousy.
10. Have HOPE!